| Monica is giving me lessons... |
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| 03:32pm 03/02/2010 |
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mood:  bouncy
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...on how to boss people around. O_o
She says it's my turn to be bossy tomorrow.
Anyway. I am going to pick up the kitties tonight with Couuuuurtney! I haven't seen her in years! So it's doubly exciting. :)
Alan and I are discussing what to name a spaceship. It's harder than you would think.
My room looks cleaner than it has since before my back surgery. Threw out 4 trashbags filled to the brim, and am donating one trashbag of clothes.
I excercised at lunchtime whilst listening to Spinnerette on my iPod.
Only downside to things right now are the nightmares I keep having that Jeremy is trying to kill me... |
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[
Ouch! 2bites already!|
Bite me]
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| Writer's Block: Game dream believer |
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| 09:06am 01/02/2010 |
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I would totally be my Dranei Death Knight in WoW. Hahaha. Or my Night Elf Mage... So I could turn into a bear. How awesome would that be??
For 24 hours... I think I'd fly around on my mounts for a while... Terrorize some Horde... I dunno. Dance in Stormwind on top of the fountain?? I dunno.
-End Lame Post-
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[Bite me]
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| J-j-jitterbug! |
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| 04:06pm 29/01/2010 |
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LeeAnn is telling Dr. Sugai that some of his patients have been calling him Dr. So-Gay. HA!
Today I saw a robot in the cafeteria. It freaked me out a bit. It was hiding behind a wall and scared the crap out of me when Sarah and I were on our way back downstairs. Then it asked me, "Please plug me in." So I said, "WHAT?!" in horror and walked faster. Sarah laughed at me the whole walk back to Psych.
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[
Ouch! 1bite already!|
Bite me]
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| The me I want to be... |
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| 03:39pm 25/01/2010 |
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mood: bouncy
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Ah... I feel like I'm a blank slate. I love it!!
Here's a list of... Um... Things:
1. My story "The Dungeon" got rejected by Bloodbound Books because they thought the ending wasn't intense enough. So... I changed it, and resubmitted it on the off-chance they'd accept it. And... They replied this morning saying they love it!!! So they're going to get back to me about whether or not they have room for my story in their anthology. ^_^
2. Applied for a part time writing position, and submitted "That House is Death" to yet another magazine.
3. Realized that the agent that looked so familiar (Who I queried) is ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jessicaverday 's agent. LOL! Awesome. 4. Alan is amazing. He is a genius. He is sweet and funny... And he hasn't changed in 6 years. Why the HELL did I blow him off? AND TWICE?! I'm still kicking myself for this. But for some reason, he forgives me for breaking his heart. He's a such a good person. And I am falling for him HARD. It's going to be a loooooooooong ass time before we meet in person... But it's actually really nice to get to know him intellectually first. I think I've mentioned this before. Actually, I'm sure of it. So... Moving on... 5. I've reconciled with Courtney, and begun to hang out with Nikki again. I missed them both terribly. Nicole was my BEST friend when we were very young. And Courtney was my best friend not even 5 years ago. I am also becoming really close with Jenn... She is an AWESOME person. And she's going to be writing again soon! YAY!!! *jumps up and down clapping* 6. I'm just happy. :D
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[
Ouch! 5bites already!|
Bite me]
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| Writer's Block: Back from the dead |
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| 12:51pm 24/01/2010 |
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mood:  curious
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I don't think I'd WANT to do it... But for the sake of a writer's curiosity, I think I would decide to do it. Imagine seeing Heaven? Or even Hell? Just being able to write about their wonders and abominations would be a writer's best dream and worst nightmare. I often wonder if Dante actually saw a vision of Hell, and "The Inferno" sprouted from such an experience. And what of Anne Rice and C.S. Lewis and even Susan Cooper? Did they all see their own separate visions of the afterlife? |
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[
Ouch! 7bites already!|
Bite me]
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| Writer's Block: Leftovers of leftovers |
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| 11:40am 22/01/2010 |
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Is sushi considered weird?? I eat that all the time. Hmm... I had wild turkey once... That's not unusual, but it's uncommon.
Once, my dad put venison in the pasta I was eating without telling me what it was. I started to get sick before he even told me. *shudders* It was just wayyyyyy too salty. And I'm a salt fiend!! Once he told me what it was, I gagged even more. I just can't bear the thought of eating a deer. Cows, sure. But there's just something about a deer that is too majestic to eat. Does that make any sense?? |
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[Bite me]
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| Only a ninja can sneak up on another ninja... |
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| 04:15pm 20/01/2010 |
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This future ahead of me is filled with possibilities.
I didn't mean to rhyme right there. Oh well. I did it, it's done!
Oh man... I can just taste Spring in the air. That smell of melting snow. It makes me feel refreshed. Energized. Ready for anything. Ready for the sunny days and laughter, and going on day trips with my friends to beautiful places. I'm ready for those days. I missed them this past year because of my stupid back, and I am ready to have them back.
I also feel like it's time to shed my Winter skin and become someone new. Something new. Do something spectacular. You know?
I sent out five literary queries. I think one of the agents is my friend Jess' agent as well... He looked familiar. Maybe he just has one of those faces.
Alan makes my heart flutter. He makes me smile constantly. I wish he were here. But we have time, as he says. Plenty of time and life ahead of us. |
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[Bite me]
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| *stamp* GRADE A MORON |
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| 10:22pm 19/01/2010 |
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mood:  sick
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Why oh why did I waste so much God damn time and money?
I'm consolidating my debt now. So while I do that, I'm going to scrape up every penny I can to go to London to see my Alan. I should've done this years ago. Then I probably wouldn't have been so miserable with Jeremy. I would've been happy with Alan. Maybe even have my first book published already.
Alan is actually EXCITED and HAPPY for me that I'm sending out queries. He's even reading my book! A thing Jeremy would've never done.
I just can't believe Alan forgave me after I broke his heart. Twice, I think. I feel like such a flipping jerk.
And I'm all feverish, and my ear is pounding. Agh. Maybe I should stay home from work tomorrow. I feel like I'm covered in a filmy layer of sickness. It's gross. I'm not slimy or anything... Just... Being sick always makes me feel like I need a thousand showers. |
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[
Ouch! 2bites already!|
Bite me]
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| All these fiends want teenage meat, all my friends are murderers... |
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| 11:15am 17/01/2010 |
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mood:  hungry music: Die on a Rope - The Distillers
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More weird dreamness...
I was at a hotel with my mom, and we were checking out... And she lost my luggage. I got so mad I stormed out. I was wandering the streets of this weird neighborhood... Every time I turned a corner, it switched from day to night, and vice versa. Some guy kept texting me asking me if I wanted $1000 to sleep with him. And Kurt Cobain was suddenly walking with me, making me smoke pot from a pipe that mysteriously looked familiar to me. Sarah's mom was walking towards me at one point and began to scold me for my drug usage. When I went to blame Kurt, he was gone. Then I met up with my mom, who was loading up Ted's truck with luggage from the hotel. Apparently she got mine back. The bellhop had tried to steal it. O_o
As for real life shit... I'm on chapter 22 for edits... 12 more chapters left!!! Then I just have to type the shit up, and start working on query letters. Boofuckinya!
I apologize for the swearing. It's early, and my brain hasn't turned on it's censors yet. Plus... Listening to the Distillers makes me feel extremely punkrock. |
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[
Ouch! 4bites already!|
Bite me]
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| Apocalyptic butterflies flutter by and I'm disguised as the queen of the sky... |
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| 01:41pm 16/01/2010 |
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mood:  content
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So in my dream last night, I was walking down a sidewalk with Sarah and some guy I can't really picture now. There was a row of vintage cars. We were admiring them. One guy was washing his aqua colored '57 Chevy, and accidentally sprayed this girl walking behind him with his hose. We were kind of giggling about it when the girl pulled a Hulk and knocked a tree over on top of the gorgeous truck. The girl and her friend that had been walking with her took off running. I chased them into some weird toy store. I found the friend on the top floor. She was nervous. She said there was something wrong withher friend and not to open the closet door because she was inside. I opened it and said, "I'm making a citizen's arrest... You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you..." then I stopped cuz the girl looked seriously disturbed. Her eyes were ice blue with white pupils... And she was cutting her face up with a long silver knife. She was laughing. I think that is when I woke up.
I also had a dream that Pippin had babies. They were black and had long tails. It was weird. They also had webbed feet on just one side. I think I stepped on one and squished him before I realized that they were there. I cried. But I managed to gather all of them up.
Weird dreams.
Also, I went out to my new favorite bar last night with some friends to celebrate finishing ASYLUM. It was fun. I danced. I can't believe that I danced. The lead singer in the band kept making suggestive motions at me while singing. Haha. That's never happened to me before. Also... Some really old dudes bought me and the girls a few rounds of drinks cuz Missy went over and talked to them for a while. Lol.
It was really nice re-connecting with Nicole... We used to be inseperable. I think suddenly we are going to be very good friends again. :)
And I reconciled with Courtney, which also makes me happy.
Also... Alan has been "Away" from AIM all day so far. Makes me miss him a bit already. How strange is that? I could go all day without talking to Poopface, but a few hours away from Alan and I get all antsy to talk to him again. I must really like this guy. ^_^
Like I've said before... Alan has never strayed far from my thoughts. He is sweet and caring and funny and adorable and smart as heck... *le sigh*. He is all around awesome, and I am in swoony mode. I can't wait to meet him in person.
Oh... And... Guess what? NO HANGOVER!!!!!!!!!!! Booya. |
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[Bite me]
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| YAYNESS! |
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| 09:52pm 10/01/2010 |
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Alan wrote a Zombie survival guide thing, and he wants me to help make new chapters with other mythical entities. So, of course, we are starting with... You guessed it... VAMPIRES! RAWR!!! *makes a scary vampire face*
Mwahahahaha.
I am happy. And no, it's not just because I've reconnected with Alan, the sweetest most wonderful man ever, but it's because I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE from Jeremy! I'M FRIGGIN FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, it was like John all over again. Why did I let myself get sucked into that? At the first sign of assholeyness, I should've been gone. I should know better. But... Now I do know better. So if all of a sudden Alan starts acting like that (Which I highly HIGHLY highly doubt), he's gone. Heh. But honestly... I think he's the genuine article. :)
So far we only know eachother through pictures and internet conversations... But I like getting to know someone intellectually first before... Uh... Other relationshippy stuff. It's very nice comparatively. Cuz at the beginning of a lot of relationships, there's more of the moon eyes and kissy sessions... And less of the talking about actual things. So by the time your initial new-relationship hormones calm down, a lot of the time, you realize that you and youre new bf or gf just don't click on an intellectual level and it kind of sucks. At least that's how it's been for me. Dunno. Every relationship is different though. I should've ended it with Jeremy a long time ago. We didn't even have anything in common. |
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[
Ouch! 2bites already!|
Bite me]
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| Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that we knew... |
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| 08:57pm 08/01/2010 |
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mood:  drunk music: Alan singing "Fell in Love With the Girl" by the White Stripes <3
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...You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold onto...
Bloody freakin hell, I am drunk.
I broke up with Jeremy though an e-mail. How fucking lame is that? I am lame. But I really didn't want to see him in person. I just wanted to sever things. Things have been awful. I've lied to people about it. He's been a jerk to me, just like John was. I have to stop finding asshole boyfriends!!!!! He was so sweet in the first year.
But honestly, I should've married Alan when he proposed to me so many years ago. He is sweet. He always has been. He never changes for the worse. He just gets better! I felt this weird tug at my heart to contact him again a few days ago. It was the strangest thing. So I found him on MySpace, and realized, with a sunken heart, that he hadn't been on since the previous October (Which is weird, because that was when Jeremy and I started having problems). But, I sent him a message anyway.. Cuz he hadn't been on AIM in forever... And you know what? HE RESPONDED!! I was shocked to see him add me on Twitter. And then see him show up on my BL on AIM. (I apologize for any errors in my writing as I am literally cross-eyed drunk) So we have been talking. And I didn't realize how much I missed him. And what a fool I was for not telling him how I really felt about him. Which was basically that I am crazy about him. Always have been. But I thought it was impossible beccause we met online, and he lives countries away from me. 5 or 6 hours away, I think. But then I look at my dad and Tena... And they lived 18 hours apart, and met over the phone. Love is crazy. Love is strange. Love can lead you on impossible journeys until you find your missing half.
ANYWHOO...
Jenn is texting me back and forth and cracking me up with British lingo. Hehehehehe. She is hilarious!!
And so I continue...
Alan is sweet. He is funny. We share the same interests. We can have a discussion that lasts all day and doesn't get boring. He has been waiting for me for a long time, and I feel like a jerk for thinking it impossible.
Anyway... Chapter Jeremy is over. A new Chapter in my life has just begun.
I can't wait to see where it takes me.
*end drunken rant* |
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[
Ouch! 2bites already!|
Bite me]
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| Fell in love once, and almost completely... |
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| 12:56pm 07/01/2010 |
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mood:  crappy
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Ah. DILEMMA. I am at a turning point in my life, and I don't know which way to turn.
The familiar, or the unknown? Could there be a chance I'd be happy with the unknown? Or will this familiarity turn around and make me happy again? At this point, I'm miserable... When I should be ecstatic over the completion of ASYLUM.
This is not good. Not good at all. I need a guiding light. I wish I could see what future would be better. |
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[
Ouch! 2bites already!|
Bite me]
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| Into the Dark... |
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| 10:10pm 04/01/2010 |
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mood:  creative
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Moonlight trickles down through the canopy of the trees like subtle whispers and innuendos of secret moments yet to be discovered. I watch the reflection of night drift lazily past me on the restless waters of the brook. It weaves through the trees as if there's some appointment it must keep further into the darkness of the wood. And as all of this beauty unfolds around me, I see my battered body below on the rock. Lifeless and broken. Blood drips like dewdrops into the constant movement of the water. I reach out an incorporeal hand to touch what I had been, and bid farewell to the trees and the brook. I stretch upwards to the sky, towards the whispering moon. I stretch upwards towards a new life, and the light engulfs me in heavenly glow.
...An exercise in visual writing I suppose. Don't know why I ended up dead. |
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[
Ouch! 6bites already!|
Bite me]
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| It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy... |
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| 10:57am 23/12/2009 |
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mood: creative
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OOPS! I forgot to submit that short story last night. I'm such a scatterbrain.
On the other hand... I'm very excited about editing "Asylum". I feel like I'm grading someone's book report. Hahaha. Thank goodness I'm a stickler for details...
Sarah's going to proofread it for me, as well. She'll let me know if there are any inconsistencies (Did I spell that right? Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn...).
Also, those bookmarks my dad designed? I didn't realize they were going to be so incredibly small!! 1" X 3"... TEENY TINY! So he designed something bigger for me. It's too bad cuz I ordered 4 more packs of the teeny ones. Lol.
Oh well. Some people like them cuz they're cute, and different. I might drop some off at a library. Or get my dad to give them out, cuz he's good at that stuff. I dropped them into some of the cards I gave out here at work, and people seem to be interested in my writing. It's nice to have people supporting me, and wanting to read my book. I WANT people to read it, and enjoy it... Hopefully as much as I enjoyed writing it. Ya know??
And now that I'm part of NEHW, I'm hoping to make connections with other authors and get some short stories published so I'll have a small resume before I begin sending out queries.
Oh, and I have a drowning scene in my new book... I have almost drowned twice, so I know exactly how to write it. Lol. |
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[Bite me]
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| Christmas? Already?! |
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| 11:16pm 20/12/2009 |
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So I have everyones' cards written out. Snow is all over the fuckin' place. But, I neglected to put up a tree or stockings this year. What's the point? No one is coming over here to celebrate. And my roommate is never home anyway. Plus, Pippin's cage is in the tree area.
*shrugs*
I'll be at my aunt's house, and my dad's, and Jeremy's (Maybe?). Oh well. Maybe next year around this time I'll have my own house and get a real big ass honkin' tree. I think I'll even decorate it like I did last year... With seashells and stuff. Make the winter feel a little warmer. Put a beach blanket underneath. Maybe a bucket of sand. A beachball. *le sigh* I miss the beach. Haven't been in years.
Time to move somewhere warmer? I think so.
I'm debating on whether or not to bring everyone's stuff in tomorrow or Tuesday. Decisions, decisions...
Grr. And Pippin is a bad bad boy. He marked my arm like it was his territory and then wondered why I put him back in his cage. WTF. I really need to find someone to take him. I thought a hamster would be fun... But really... He's just a pain in the butt. I can't wait to get my cat. At least Chartreux's don't chew holes in everything. And he'll be neutered so he can't spray his stank all over the apartment. |
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[
Ouch! 2bites already!|
Bite me]
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| My friends, they are so beautiful... |
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| 06:59pm 16/12/2009 |
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Seriously... I can't stop listening to the "New Moon" soundtrack. GOOD MUSIC! GO BUY IT! Now, I say. MUSH MUSH! *cracks whip*
ANYWAY...
So this is how my day went:
1. Got to work and the IDX system was down throughout ALL of Lahey. And by all, I mean all. I mean Burlington, Arlington, Lexington, Bevery, Peabody, Danvers... And any others I've forgotten. So, crazy shit, right off the bat. It was a MADHOUSE! A MAAAADHOUSE! So... Ya. Rough start there. (FAIL!!!!)
2. Last night one of the vampires told me that she knew someone who'd be interested in my book... I asked her to send me the info. This morning, I check it, all excited, and then find out that the chick only works with stories about vampires. Waa-waaaa... Big FAIL stamp right there. I told her, thanks... But the book I want published is about ghosts, not vampys.
3. I became an official member of the New England Horror Writers Association today. WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. I won the caption contest at work. There was a cartoon of Santa being seen by a Psychiatrist, and 14 people came up with captions. They were posted anonymously, and people voted... And I won!! I didn't even have time to vote, so I didn't even vote for myself. My co-worker Judy was like, "It's not fair! She's a professional writer!!" Then she told me she was kidding and that she voted for me too. Hehe. It won me $25! WOO! WIN!!
5. This patient, let's call him C, has been coming into the department since I first started. He hits on everyone, but especially me. NO IDEA why. I'm really not that great looking. But anyway... Every time he's come in in the past year, he's tried to touch me in one way or another. It really skeevs me out. Today, he came up behind my desk, and began to rub my shoulder. I almost projectile vomited onto his face. Seriously. It freaked me out THAT much. After he left, I practically drowned myself in antibacterial lotion. Later that day, I e-mailed both his doctors and my boss about the situation. One of his docs got right back to me and was horrified. He's going to have a talk with C the next time he comes in. FAIL.
So, all in all, a half empty/half full day. |
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[
Ouch! 2bites already!|
Bite me]
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